Attachment Theory

As I finish my lifespan and human development course, I now realize how infinitly important it is to understand one's own childhood. While this is true for those who choose to have children, it is also true for those of us who plan not to. To understand attachment styles, that is how my primary caregiver responded to my needs as an infant, is to understand how and why I behave and think the way I do today. But it doesn't stop there, fortunately. We all have hundreds of thousands of unconscious processes as all other animals have. That is, we don't have to think in order for our heart to beat, for our lungs to take in air. However, we also have consciousness. And because of this, we are able to become free from these neuronal pathways that have been laid down in our infancy and trodded over and over and over again in our lifetime. This is why and how therapy works. If we establish a secure attachment with our therapist, we are then able to gain consciousness into the previously unconscious loss, rejection, shame and humiliation most of us experienced as an infant. It is through this attachment and consciousness that we can "become free" and lay down *new* neuronal pathways, new ways of thinking and behaving so that we don't continue to transfer these deep losses in our infancy onto our children and onto our friends, co-workers, lovers, and partners. And perhaps more importantly, this empowering freedom allows us to behave and think in more helpful and positive ways for ourselves.

In other words, read this book: